Originally Posted March 4th, 2011
After working on a report last night, I fell asleep sooo tired that I left a few things that were due today undone. Somehow, as sleepy as I was, my mind started moving so I got up at 3am and tried to get through some things on my to do list. As I looked over some of them I immediately thought how I would be paying for this time awake when it was time to get up for work.  Wouldn’t it be wonderful to get up when you’re done sleeping? To wake up and do whatever you wanted to do when you wanted to?

I got this recording from a course I did with a wonderful mentor and coach and she had Rob Coats (who I follow closely as he is a self made success) send us this recording.

He sounds a little crazy talking about the matrix and the blue/red pill, but his point is clear…..do something different, work at it and take success into your own hands.  He’s real honest about the fact that it is HARD work and often a crazy struggle,  but he is doing it.  It can be done.

I am looking forward to the day when as Rob says “I can wake up and do whatever the eff I wanna do!”

Let’s Do This!

Questions & Quote Me

What is your typical weekly routine?  Think it through or write it down.  What do you need to change/add/subtract to make your life better?  You won’t get better/different results doing the same old thing.

Don’t leave you life’s success to “fate”.  DO something about it.

check out Rob at www.connectionnaire.com

Originally Posted on August 13th, 2010

Most interesting conversation with a new friend last week…

 Now this was a part of “the code” apparently. I had to drag it out of him and even so, I know he didn’t tell me the whole story. But the way he was excited about this woman, I had to understand this, I needed to learn this!

 He told me about this woman he was interested to get to know.  He found her “thinking” to be very appealing and interesting.  So he did his “research”. He started asking a few mutual friends about her.  Most responses went like…

• Nope, don’t even try.
• She’s not gonna give you the time of day
• No chance
• You better bring your A game
• I don’t know if you’re on her level

#whoisthischick? Frig.

Somehow excited by this (you men are interesting creatures) he dug further….

He knew her relationship status, number of dependents, momma and daddy national insurance numbers. Lol. He said it was like “NO way, this can’t be real,” so guess where to next??

Facebook. Dun dun dun dun.

Somehow through someone he got on her facebook. (I’ve always maintained that facebook is the devil).

He said there were 2 or 3 pictures, no serious details about her life and nothing even remotely negative???  A little clue of what she does for fun but nothing profane, nothing talking down to people, nothing making fun of people, nothing ranting about who pissed her off; her boss, some guy, the people on the road, the utility company..….hold on, he was LOOKING for something to be wrong, he needed some more information.  He said….and I quote “I didn’t know women like that still existed in The Bahamas”.

I should’ve been upset!  There are LOTS of wonderful women (moi included, #somodest) who are forward thinking, who don’t have drama, do drama, like drama……but I got his point.

 Now the point for me was really interesting when I reflected on the conversation.  What do you give to the world?  I’m not saying you should not be your authentic self….if that includes a rant or two….get it in! LOL.  But….are you giving them too much? Hmmmm.  Is there any mystery, ANY thing to guess about you, any research to be done, anything to make someone see the swagger and turn their heads like WHO is THAT? 

 Or do we all know, already? – Yall know JUST what I mean……hmmmm!

 This is not only in reference to relationships, but in life.  You don’t need to give everyone everything.  We don’t all have to know what you’re doing in every single aspect of your life.  Every time you share yourself or your “business” with people that need not know, you share that energy with them…..and guess what, you then have less to work with.

 This isn’t just for facebook now, this goes with you everywhere.  Even in your circle, at work in your daily life, are you sharing yourself with everyone hoping for validation and attention of some sort to the point that we ALL know more than our share?

 Keep your energy where it needs to be, make your ish happen and keep em guessing!  Whether in business, relationships or life, that’s how you get them coming back

 Happy Friday Yall!

 Random Question & Quote Me

Are you happy with your own life to the point that you don’t need to draw attention out of others to validate yourself?  If you aren’t, take some time in personal reflection to figure out why and work on it.  I’m pulling for you, I know deep down you’re truly FABULOUS all on your own!

 Autopilot living  is #unfabulous…….stop settling for lifestyle, political and religious dogmas that you have been fed.  Get to know thyself.

 Sign up for email & text, they are on the way!! There’s also lots of free FAB stuff to be won.

AFTER PARTY!!

YAY! LOL, someone asked me the other day, what’s with these number signs (#) yall use everywhere?  They are hashtags that I believe started on twitter.  They generally represent a topic you can search on twitter by clicking on them, but it’s also now been turned into a kind of punch line indicator…….#yadig?

That reminds me….get yall arses on twitter and let’s have some random fun!

www.twitter.com/raehfabulous

Originally posted on 14th May, 2010

Last week’s Happy Friday was about how you use your voice,  this week….watch your actions.

This one is simple, straightforward and borne out of my frustration for not believing actions sooner because I wanted so badly to believe the words. I’ve dealt with the frustration and let it go some time ago, so I’m good, but at the end of any day,  ACTIONS speak much LOUDER than words.

It’s a great lesson myself to be very careful about giving my word, making promises or expressing things unless I am sure I mean what I say.

I know one or two of my girlfriends who have learned recently that mouth can say anything, but actions, OH actions! show who we are.

Think about what you say or give your word to at work, with your children and loved ones. When you don’t show that you mean what you said, imagine the inconvenience; disappointment; confusion or hurt you are causing them.

When you cannot meet a deadline at work, do you show respect for your job and employer by telling them as soon as you can or sometimes apologizing? What respect do you give your loved ones?

People SAY they love, but can they FEEL the love ....

When you tell a sister or a friend you love them and you didn’t intend anything mean but they have already been informed of the gossip you have spread about them, do you think your word means anything to them? I doubt it.

If you lost the ability to talk, how would the world hear your voice? People will believe what you say, but they will believe even more what you do.

Happy Friday people…..make it a Fabulous one!

Random Question….
Where did you think you would be today when you graduated from college or high school? Have you gotten there? Have you given up? Do you even remember?

& Quote Me!
Pursue clarity on what you want from life and to ACT on it! Don’t simply express it.
What you don’t start today can’t be finished tomorrow.
Even if you feel trapped by your “now” life, keep ya head up, keep believing, you CAN do anything you truly determine to do.
~raehfabulous

Originally posted on April 1, 2011

The real, real….. <insert sarcasm> right.

It seems a lot of people are determined  to let us know that they are “keeping it real”.  Very good.  Nothing better than being your true, authentic self.  I mean, it’s how we were created and what we were put here for, to be ourselves, to give our gifts and uniqueness to the world.

The real trouble though, is we are often being our real selves that someone taught us that we are supposed to be.  We are often being our real selves that hide truth from even ourselves.  Truths about how we really feel, when we really are hurt, when we really want love and attention and affirmation.  When we really feel insecure, inadequate and ill prepared to deal with things.

Instead of allowing those “real” feelings to show in our “real” selves, we put up a brave, wise and often rough front.  We exhibit bravado that can almost get to the point of bullying.  We are being “real” with no one, but we’re “keeping it real” with our big mouths, hard exterior and shiny shells that the world had taught us we should all have.

Yes all of us.

God created each of us uniquely for us ALL to be the same, act the same, look the same, be shiny, perfect and new at all times……yes….makes no sense.

Do something different and be REAL!  Be Authentic.  You don’t have to show everyone your teeth and you should definitely know when to keep your emotions to yourself and go home and cry to momma and momma only, but….stop fronting on who you really are and what you really feel.

Anyone that cannot accept or appreciate you for the REAL you is not worth your time anyway.

Selah (a phrase used in Psalms meaning “pause, and think on these things”)

People often talk about their “real” friends and “real” situations.  The truth is we have all fallen short.  We have all offended people and sometimes unknowingly.  We should never be so haughty to believe that we had no role in the world doing us wrong.  What you give is often what you get, and THAT’s for real!  Forgive, forget, move on.

Originally Posted on JULY 9th, 2010

Congratulations! <Insert your dream here> has just come true!

• Own your own thriving business
• Homeschool your children
• Have a truly happy relationship/marriage
• Be a rockstar!
• Receive a scholarship to pursue the studies you’ve always wanted
• Cruise around the world
• Billionaire (millionaire’s are so 2000)

Are you ready? You’re probably like hell yeah I’m ready!!! Whooo!

Ok, really, insert your dreams here and when you’ve finished reading, ask yourself again, Am I ready?

Go through this list  of just a few examples of things people successful at these things do.  Which of these if any are you currently doing?

Own your own large, thriving business

Waking up early, fueling your body healthily, getting critical tasks done before the phone calls and bombardment begin, reading and researching about your business or craft, making connections wherever you go/networking, managing your time and demonstrating balance, answering phone calls, emails or other communication in a timely manner and delivering on any promises you made consistently.

Homeschool your children

Reading, researching and ordering homeschooling tools, reaching out to other homeschoolers in the community,  making arrangements/adjustments with your employer or spouse based on how this affects the family’s time, money and resources, exercising discipline in your daily life — waking up on time, managing time on schedule (there is no school bell or teacher to tell you what time your kids should be in class — it’s now on you.

Have a truly happy relationship/marriage

Communication, communication, communication.  Management of time and resources together, keeping the passion and sex hottt, nurturing each other. Ladies…..pamper, feed, cater to your man and keep it spicy.  Men…….pamper, romance, stimulate your woman.  Conversation, love without record of wrong. Align and agree on family priorities.  Work together, live and laugh together.

You get the drift by now.  These things take WORK and effort and ACTION.

That’s why I said look at what you are currently doing and not what you claim you are willing to do. There are two reasons for this.

1. What you do today and the action you take (not the dreams or talk) determine the continuing course of your life.

Doing nothing toward your dreams gets you nothing. 

2. Your current behaviour tells everyone what to expect.

If you don’t answer emails for days, drag yourself out of bed without focus for the day, don’t fulfill the SMALL commitments you have at work as it is, your business plan only has a title and you’ve been working on the content for 5 years but expect an investor to drop hundreds of thousands in capital in your lap? You are NOT ready.

If you have the attitude that you ain’t catering to a man unless he caters to you “50/50″ or You ain’t in the mood to communicate with your woman even though you’re unhappy with your relationship. You are NOT ready.

You want to travel the world but your passport is expired and your last visa was the one your mom got for you 10 – 20 years ago….please, You are NOT ready.

You want to be a rockstar/rapper/singer/tv show host/producer but you are just rolling over at 10am and logging on to twitter to crack jokes….who cares that you left the studio at 3am…..so did JayZ and Kanye.  Oprah got her butt in her car in her pajamas at 4am.  Wake yo ass up, You are NOT ready.

You make $40,000 a year, don’t invest a dime, credit card debt close to maxed, bills not paid in full each month, don’t know the last time you gave out of gratitude (not to buy attention/friends), if your car broke down today you wouldn’t have the cash (not credit cards) to fix it and you wanna be a billionaire………..right.  Manage what you have properly now, to whom much is given, MUCH is required.  You are NOT ready.

Now guess what, some of us have these things already, but they aren’t working, something’s out of whack, you probably weren’t ready in the first place, but it’s never too late.  Will Smith says, if you are always ready, when opportunity and issues come you don’t have to “get ready” just STAY READY!

Random Question & Quote Me….

What are you doing to show your National pride and patriotism this weekend beside wearing the colors?  Let’s clean the beaches we visit and start recycling cans and bottles ALL the time to show our gratitude for our beautiful country.  Happy Independence my fellow Bahamians.

The ‘ambitious’ get what the hustlers leave behind.  While they busy dreamin up their life, we GETTIN IT!

Originally posted April 2010

I realize that I waste at least 2-3 hours daily doing useless things (i.e. learning nothing & barely being entertained); tv, internet, laying down looking at the ceiling fan yes, I do that or lying outside staring up at the clouds wondering is that, a boob an eye? It’s a cloud, gimme a break. This does not even include my chilling out time, and I LOVE to chill out.

So, that’s close to 21 hrs a week, lost, doing nothing, not even really resting. Half of that spent more wisely could translate into study time, consulting, writing time, gym time, or even mommy and pops long distance phone call time, all little things that add quality to my life.

How are you using your time?? Wisely I hope. I mean we need to relax so the tv, wii and internet aren’t the enemy, but how are we using them.

Does your Mafia Wars family know more about your day than your real family because you spend hours a day getting “jobs” done? I don’t play, I swear, lol, but the facebook feed explains that “jobs” are being done *shrugs* whatever that means.

Are we the same ones allowing ourselves the excuses that we have no time for school, reading books, exercise, volunteering, family bible study or whatever we keep putting off?

We’re usually good at talking the talk, the most ‘fabulous’ quotes, tweets and status updates, but what are we really doing to improve our lives? Any truly fabulous person will always be about their business.

Get yourselves together, and one step at a time, Let’sflikkinDoThis!

Random Question & Quote Me…

Have you made any serious progress on your goals or resolutions for 2010 yet? We’ve already passed the first quarter, get crackin!

“I’ll be impressed when you’re about to die and instead keep goin! Until then, StopFlickinJokin-and-Let’sDoThis!” ~ raehfabulous

Do you remember when you REALLY thought you could do anything? Not because it was possible or impossible, but just because you were too innocent to know any different.

What changed? Mostly what you were TOLD or taught.

You were told:

• We are Baptist/Anglican/Catholics

• We are PLP/FNM/CCP (clearly kidding)

• You should get your masters degree in business to be rich/wealthy

• Real Men don’t do this

• A Good Woman doesn’t do that

• blah blah blah

It’s almost a tribalistic attitude that makes us believe we are who our parents and surroundings are, but truth is WE ARE who WE say we are. Who do you say you are and what do you say you are capable of?

My main point in saying all of that is for us to be careful what we are teaching the young people in our lives.

My friend told me last night his son was not ready for a trip to Europe. According to whom? Let’s assume there’s no major cost or time problem involved, and yes he’s only one, but babies see, feel, hear, taste, learn and understand.

Why limit him before he even has a chance?

How wonderful for him to see the different people, colors, and buildings, hear different voices, languages, and tones, feel a different climate…..I can see him giggling at a new experience now!

Expose him to a world that’s limitless; expose him to different types of beauty and life. He is one yes, but imagine how empowered he will be at five when he can tell his friends he has travelled to Europe? If it only gives him confidence that he has done above average things, then that is a good start for him to be confident enough to live his greatest life.

Have you told a child recently what they cannot do? Sure they can’t have that chocolate for dinner, can’t touch that, can’t watch that….can’t can’t can’t CANT! How many CAN’TS and NOs do we tell kids?

Start to tell them what they can do and remove the limits from their minds. The limits we have within are the greatest obstacles, let’s help them grow up confident enough that they can live their lives to full potential and pursue their purpose.

Don’t let them end up like us, who mostly only talk about what we coulda/woulda/shoulda done.

And for us, let’s remember to free ourselves also, because our limitations have only the power we choose to give them. We can make them irrelevant by simply ignoring them.

Have a Happy Friday Folks!

 This one is long, but today I have to break the routine….

 Remember when everyone got email and MSN messenger….like EVERYONE! I used to get forwards upon forwards and after a while found it quite annoying to have to navigate through 25 emails to find my mom’s message that her flight lands at 10am in time to not make her wait at the airport.

Admittedly though, some of them were GOOD.   Great laughs, great inspirational stories and the like, so I would still kinda look through them all.  Whenever I came across an amazing one, my instinct was to forward it, then I would stop and think of the potential annoyance on the receiving end.  This made me sort and save only the very good ones and I made a mental note to send ONE good “forward” email every week so at least people would take the time to read it.

Fast forward to Happy Friday emails that turned into a blog with a mailing list, text list and a dedicated group of readers.

I don’t think it was until earlier this year that I realized people were faithfully reading and sharing, because, truth be told, it never mattered! LOL. Now I mean that in the best way. You see,  I never dreamed of being a blogger or writer, it just happened.  And it happened because I wanted to share some things with people, whoever they were and how they saw it was ok, I was just sure to do my part. It was almost that simple!  I had gone through a very interesting process of truly discovering my purpose and realizing a part of that was to inspire people.  I was led to just lay it on the line so that someone else could learn from my mistakes and my journey

I was stopped at Bamboo shack by a gentleman who told me he loved my emails that apparently one of my friends’ aunts had been forwarding to him weekly.  Another gentleman read the  Mangoes Blog” …read and share the blog

and after an arranged telephone call from him, sent me a box full of mangoes on a plane! That was so fun.  He said it was just a thank you and not knowing me at all, he figured if there was anything I would enjoy it would be the mangoes.

I have a few people that call me almost religiously on their particular time and day and we talk about life and what they related to from the blog and sometimes we just talk.  I have a text list and for every text I send, there are different responses from different people for different things.  There are countless stories that I’ve never shared and probably never will, but one thing I will share is that Happy Friday has absolutely changed MY life. 

How?

It has helped me fulfill my purpose like nothing else has been able to and I am soooo GRATEFUL.  To be able to do what I was put here to do means a WHOLE lot to me.  Outside of working, providing for and taking care of our families, so many of us are still trying to figure out what they were put here to do, so I count myself BLESSED. 

All of you who read and who share have BLESSED me.   I’m in shock every time I see  that people from all over the world ….Mauritius, Turkey, Greece, Philippines, Australia,  Japan and on and on, places I’ve never even heard of,  are reading the blog. I’m always humbled and GRATEFUL. 

I find that people want to do better and be better but often get taken over by everyday life.  Some cannot find the time or the courage or the means to be their best selves and a WHOLE lot are afraid to let the world see them dream or dare to be different, so they hide behind their computers and smart phones, reading, watching but as Happy Friday has proven to me, they’re also learning and growing.  Technology allows me to see all of you, well at least the numbers and locations of you who are, continuously coming back to learn more. Don’t stop trying to grow.  FORGET what people will think, grow FABULOUSLY!

Lately, I’ve been telling people that if someone is not lining up with you to BEC or BTC or your mortgaging bank to contribute….they SURE should have no major influence on holding you back from your dreams. Don’t buy into the hype.  Go after what you are purposed for.

Strangely enough, it is that same advice that reminded me that I needed to refocus and reenergize my effort for my own dreams.  So many projects that I have half done and almost ready , toooooo much time on the grid; way too much time connected to social media…facebook, twitter, blackberry and all its apps, the internet and TV.  So I’m taking a much needed step back, not really a break, but just a break from being connected to everything and everyone so much.  The only way I will be able to get to the bigger picture is if I take some time and focus on the inside, work without distraction and get to a place of constant connection to my Source.

So now comes what I said ALL of that above to say…..for a little while, I’m going to leave you be.

I have lots of blogs that I will be re-posting regularly, but I won’t be posting anything new for a while.  For the last few years, we have shared struggles, breakthroughs and dreams.  I’ve often whispered your names in God’s ear when I pray and have your troubles in my mind when I write. 

I will continue to walk in my purpose and I will be here to uplift anyone that needs me to, whether in prayer, in silence or in bbm talks.  I hope that all of you reading this will have learned if nothing else from me and Happy Friday over the years to Live, Love, Laugh, Flourish, Focus do whatever it is you do, FABULOUSLY!

My love and gratitude to you on this Happy HAPPY Friday!

Over the last year, I’ve become a serious fan…ok maybe not that serious, but nonetheless a fan, of Bethenny Frankel.

This chick means business.  I remembered that she was on Apprentice and a Housewives show, what I didn’t realize was she had calculated her moves on those shows very carefully to move her toward business success.  Not fame and money, but long lasting business success.

Since her twenties she started lots of businesses, mostly surrounding healthy food and snack options and would use these shows to promote them also.  In her book, she talks about how it was a constant struggle but she NEVER GAVE UP.  She would be up at night baking cookies and spending her early mornings delivering them to bakeries.  They weren’t selling, but she still didn’t stop.  She figured something else out and kept it moving.  She had some horrible family and personal life situations, but that was NEVER an excuse. She would talk about it from time to time, but kept it moving.

On one of her recent shows she talked about how the other people on the shows would be hanging out getting facials and going shopping and she would be spending her time making calls and writing recipes.  People thought she was being rude, but she couldn’t afford it.  She said she would take the subway to red carpet events because she couldn’t afford $20 for a cab. But she KEPT pushing.

Earlier this year, Bethenny made a record $120million deal with Jim Beam to make and distribute her Skinny Girl Margaritas.  She had gone to company after company trying to sell this idea and no one took her seriously.  Inking that deal also meant reality shows started changing contracts.  Of course they feel like she used them and made all that bank so they need to ensure it doesn’t happen again unless they get a cut.

Last night, reading her book, this caught my eye….

“Life is an obstacle course. You succeed at one thing and then you move on to the next. When an obstacle is tough, you try harder. When an obstacle is insurmountable, you change course. But you never sit down and refuse to finish.”

I told all of you her story just to say this, there is NOTHING you cannot do if you are truly willing to work for it. You have to first believe you can, FORGETTING and IGNORING what anyone else has to say, work it out in your head, make a plan and GO for it. Day by day, month by month, keep pushing.

Every time I think of not bothering with one of my projects because either I’m too tired at the time or I’m doubting that the effort will pay off, I see Bethenny in my head, in her little apron, dusted in flour making those odd tasting cookies in her little apartment…..flashing that 120 million dollar smile.

KEEP PUSHING people!

Happy Friday yall!

The pain of yesterday makes life sooo much SWEETER today!

Almost exactly on this day a few years ago, this early edition of “Happy Friday” went to a very small mailing list. Very small. They were people I knew, who knew me and my situations/story well.  I was not in the best place in a lot of areas in my life, but I was growing and learning and on the way to purpose and happiness.

I read this and screamed THANK YOU LORD this morning. I cried.

ANYONE, hurting over ANYTHING, stop and listen to God’s direction and word in your life. When I say stop, stop and listen and OBEY.  It was finally my OBEDIENCE as hard as it was, that moved me away from MESS.

This morning….

I don’t know how I got so emotional this morning, kinda hesitant to put myself out there, but I need to share this with you……

When I woke up this morning, I was thankful but a little preoccupied with all I had to do today and as I drove to work I left a message for someone I needed a favor from, he did not call me back since yesterday and I started to think to myself, if only I could have things my way with these “Man” sometimes……..then God spoke so clearly to me………I ended up driving to the beach and crying my eyes out, not out of sadness but out of not understanding how to express the overwhelming mix of emotions……JOY, gratitude, comfort, peace, happiness, fulfillment and it felt like a release of disappointment and sadness also…..

What God said to me I have to share……

Your boss is not stressing you out, you are taking on stress because he is challenging you and you don’t like to be challenged.  Broaden your shoulders and face the challenges, look back on all the lessons thus far, I am TEACHING you RAEH.  You have to learn to be a leader, some lessons are harder than others.
 

What you think you don’t have financially, you HAVE.  It’s not in your bank account, but it’s there.  Now you have to recognize and acknowledge who is in your life that you can rely on, they are your roots.  Value, build, invest in your relationships with them.  They will hold you up, but I needed you to recognize that. You DON’T have to be everybody’s root, that’s not your job all the time, it’s ok to fall back.

 

That MAN you are pining over……that OTHER MAN you feel so disappointed by….I did not give to you because – he is not for YOU. Do not get in your own way by trying to KEEP  him or take him back.

The disappointment you allow yourself to feel is because of my protection RAEH. I will not have you getting so wrapped up in his attention that you lose focus of my plan for your life……….I will not cover your eyes from who he truly is so that you think he will change, you know what he is……………….so he will continue to disappoint you…….I don’t care how much love you pour out…….they are not YOURS.  When you are ready, you will have the man you need.  For now, recognize it for what it is.

 

The great life you envision is yours and is waiting, continue to attract it into your life, put in the time and energy and it will all come back to you.  Do not settle for mediocre, there are many average people out there that would love to keep you in their company for their own entertainment.  STOP needing to be everyone’s entertainment.  Use your energy to continue to grow so that you can share your life’s blessings with your roots.

 

STOP SEEING DISAPPOINTMENT IN THINGS/PEOPLE/RELATIONSHIPS/SITUATIONS THAT DO NOT MATCH YOUR FANTASIES.  I AM IN YOU, I AM PROTECTING YOU AND PROVIDING FOR YOUR LIFE SO THERE WILL BE SOME THINGS THAT DON’T BELONG AND THEREFORE I WILL NOT GIVE THEM TO YOU…….SIMPLE!

 

Learn to listen to yourself, your body, your heart.  I am in you. 

 ***************************************

Dat long, but all I have to say after that is:-

 Roka aint no saint

Roka don’t rely on religion

Roka gat problems

Roka gat some bad ways

but

Roka is growing, blessed and thankful.

Sieve it, keep what ya need, throw da rest away.

 I Love yall, happy weekend.

To know where I’ve grown to now, all I can say is that the power of God and understanding your TRUE self is real!

Happy Friday yall!